Employing the patent-pending satirical perspective of popular internet publication The Civilian, VICTORY 2040 explores how New Zealand can win at everything by 2040, even things that can't really be won.

New Zealand. Land of the long white privilege.

It’s hard to believe that only yesterday, it was Tuesday. Look how far we've come since then. Perhaps as many as 36 hours. Perhaps even more.And here’s an UNBELIEVABLE FACT: we’ve got even further to go. Did you know that tomorrow is only as far away as yesterday? And next week is only as far away as last week? Which means that this time last week is the same as this time next week. Which means unless we start flapping our arms double-time, friends, we’re actually going backwards.The future is coming towards us like a runaway train. If we still had trains, which we don’t, so, maybe it’s coming towards us like a runaway road of national significance: big, expensive and heading somewhere that’s not entirely logical but has some vague sense of reassurance if you don’t think about it too much.

But citizen colleagues, we need to get that logic going. Because if we’re not prepared for the future, it’ll prepare us. As in, like, in a recipe. We’ll be getting cooked, is what we’re saying.

Which is why we should have one simple goal: ENSURE VICTORY.

Victory is the most important thing to New Zealanders. It’s not about playing the game well. New Zealanders want to make sure we’re at the top of everything. Punching above our weight. Several weight divisions, even. Punching a morbidly obese country. Well, a more morbidly obese country.

We want to win. But we’re at risk of not-winning.

Successive governments have pursued short-term success with only lip-service to long-term victory. We need to change that. We need to cast our eyes, ears, and sense of smell 20 years forward to 2040, because 2040 sounds like a nice round number and all. We need to identify every possible thing in which we could capture victory. And then we need to do it. Delivering New Zealand’s future. Let’s do this. Today, Tomorrow, Timaru. Well, not so much the last one. But the others.

We will solve tomorrow’s problems today, and also tomorrow, because the show is on for two nights, unless you see it the second night, in which case we'll be solving tomorrow's problems today and also yesterday. By employing the latest technology, the best experts, a wonderful set built of repurposed convention stands and a healthy supply of sponsored biscuits, we’ll find the ways that lead us to… VICTORY 2040.

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